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Questions and Answers #1

Here are some of the questions that were sent to us, and the answers sent back.
If you have a question that you would like answered please click
here.

Q      Someone just sent me a document stating that the Zohar is fake. How do I know that he is wrong?

A   
  Someone who does not believe that the Zohar is true and was written by the Holy Rebbe Shimon Bar Yochi is a fool who should simply be ignored. Rather then write the various proofs, you can simply look it up in Meditation and Kabbalah by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan.

One has to be extremely ignorant or extremely haughty to argue against all the holy Kabalists including the ARI.



Q   Where are these teachings of Tikun Habris coming from?


A      The teachings can be found in many Sefarim
here is a partial list. Unfortunately this topic is very avoided by the Erev Rav and these sefarim are not to common in the US.

 
Q    what is the difference between spilling ones seed and a man have relations with his wife when she is pregnant or at a time when she cannot conceive?

A     
 Every time semen is released there are souls who dress themselves in the drops. When a person is having a relationship according to Halacha then he is bound to the side of Holiness. The souls that come down from excessive drops are turned into spirits of holiness which stand in his merit. Again there are many levels to this, for even if a person is following Halacha his actions and thoughts are still tinted with much impurity. According to his level of purity is the level of the souls created.

Rabbi Nachman states in one of his Torahs, that the souls that dress themselves into converts, were first brought down by Tzadikim in cases like this. The true Tzadik has long since purified himself from every element of lust.

However when a person has any sort of prohibited relation... Nidah - Ritually impure women, Goyah - non Jew, Ashes Ish - married women... then the only souls that can possibly dress into such drops are ones of impurity.

Spills Seed it is a little different, for in this case there is no receiving party at all and the energy is just spread all over the Sitra Acher.

There are two elements that must be taken into account to understand all this. The first is that there are many various levels and type of souls and spirits and not all of them are per say of Human equivalence.

The second is that this is not a scientific thing where the effect is an automatic result of the action. Over here, the other side also has a mind and when one breaks the rules declared by the Sages they have the right to effect him.



Q     A person who tries to be Shomer Habris but falls sometimes. Some times he wins some times he loses. What can he do?


A      The first thing needed, is the will to stop. This can be achieved by reading as much as he can about the severity of this sin and the damage that it causes.

However even if a person is determined to stop, there are many times he fall into states of weakness during which sins.

The way to prevent this is to make boundaries. This is the most important aspect for Shmiras Habris. The kabbalah teaches that a person sins only when a spirit of insanity descends upon him. This is seen in practical reality, for a person who wishes to be Shomer Habris has many separations between himself and the sin. At most times the person would swear that if he was given a test now he could pass it. He feels this and knows this logically as well. However once he starts entering the scene of temptation his Mochin-Mind and knowledge start leaving him little by little until he is committing the sin and has no ability or desire to control himself.

There is only one solution for this and that is to never fall into that situation in the first place. A person who wishes to be shomer Habris, especially if he has fallen many times before, must have ten barriers between himself and the sin. The second he brakes through the first two, all the alarms must start going off in his head. By the time he has broken the third barrier he must even due an extremely fanatical action to get away.

Even though he is still miles away from the actual sin and he believes that he can pull back at any second he wishes, it is not true there will be many times when he will fall. He is losing more of his mochin every second and the control he has over his will now will not be the same in a short period of time. He must run away now even though it seems ridicules.

A person must sit down and make a list of all the things and situations that cause him to stumble. He must then set boundaries so he will not even come close to being in that situation.

Also Chazal teach that the eyes see the heart desires and then the body acts. A person should not look at any improper images at any time.
A person might ask what is so bad if I read a news magazine, it will never cause me to sin, I am in full control. (besides the fact that each time a person looks at an improper image and has an impure thought that in itself is a sin). Yes this is how a person fall, most times is he was drawn into impurity from places like this little by little.


Q       The Chashmanim who fought the battles of Chanukah, sound like tough heroes of Modern Society?

A       They were all very big Shomri Habris. Only a person who was a true warrior, who never fell to the ways of the Hellenist was allowed into their army. They would prepare for battle by fasting and praying.


Q      I live in the US what can I do to remain pure?

A    It is very hard to live in the US. But if you constantly read the writings of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov and follow his advice you will receive a lot of light no matter what situation you are in and what you have done in the past.



Q     Do I have permission to post, print or distribute the content of the site?   

A     There are no copy rights, everything belongs to G-D. Use whatever you can from the site, the main thing is to give power to the forces of Kedusha.


Q    So besides going to the Mikveh and saying the Tikkun Klali every day, what else can I do to get rid of the Klipot around me?

    
Here is are four very practical things to do that will greatly improve your situation.

1- Study of Torah

Set aside 2-3 hours a day, this should be set into your daily schedule and should be done every day unless a great obstacle happens that day. At least a 40 min of that time should be used to study Talmud (Talmud has equivalence of her name may it be erased. also Daf = 84 which is a small manifestation of the fasts needed to rectify Z"L.....)

If you find it hard to study Talmud by yourself the pick an easy Masechta , try Brachot also get a Chavrusa.

2-Breslov

Try your hardest to read as many Breslov books as possible. Recommended those published by the Breslov institute or Shira Chadasha. Also get hold of Rabbi Tzvi Aryeh Rosenfeld Z"L Tapes. Make it a goal to be in Umon next Rosh Hashanah.


3-Marriage

Try to get married. pray, do tikunim for it as well as physical efforts.

4-Tzdakah

Try to give as much Tzdaka as you can according to your financial situation. Try to give it to a place that will match all the requirement of Chazal. Talmud Chacham, Eveyon which is lower level then Ani, Matan Beseter, Living in Eretz Yisroel.



Q     Are there any Breslov centers in Brooklyn, NY

A        There are two Breslov centers in Brooklyn one on 16th and 52nd (or somewhere in that area) Boro Park. The other is on 12th and 40th Boro Park (Rabbi Shick)

contact Shaul Betesh - SaBete7@aol.com

he distributes Rabbi Tzvi Aryeh Rosenfeld z"l tapes
He is very involved in Breslov and lives in Brooklyn.


 
Q     "I am not such a strong person, should I be doing fasts?"

A      You should fast according to your limitations as long as it will not get you into depression. Fasting is very effective. However if you start following the path of Rebbe Nachman it can take you much further.

There is an organization "Breslov Research Institute " that publishes a lot of the works in English. They can be found in most Judaic stores. Read through some of the books I believe they will Help you.

Rebbe Nachman also talks a lot about Tikkun Habris
They have one title dedicated just on this subject "Rebbe Nachmans Tikkun"


 Q      The site mentions fasting as a very powerful Tikkun for "spilling seed" in the past. What should be my intention, my consciousness when I fast? How should I direct my kavanah?

A      Accept the fast Mincha the day before. (both prayers are brought down in Sidurim right before the end of the amidah - also during Mincha on the fast say Ananue in Shma Kolanu). You do not have to fast during the night only from sunrise.

3 main Kavanot are...

1 During the time of the Bais Hamikdash a person who sinned would bring a sacrifice to atone for his actions. Now you are offering your own blood, fat and energy that is being depleted that day as a sacrifice.

2 To rectify the food you have eaten with out the proper brachot and Kavanot

3 On a regular day the energy travels through your system, first through your digestive system and only then does it reach your brain. As the fast goes on you digestive system quits down and then all the energy travels through the brain first.

as far as divine names meditate on the names brought down on the site.



Q       The site cover some important areas of Kabbalah but it does not deal so much with the Mysteries?

A
          In the books of Kabbalah there are many warnings about not revealing the mysteries to people that are unworthy. The Internet is public domain and if it is in English then anyone can read it.


Q        How can I spread the teachings from the site?

A        We suggest that you print out some of the topics from the site and hang them up in the local Shul, Jewish grocery or gathering place. If you are afraid, this can easily be done without anyone knowing your identity.


Q        Recently I found an article, an interview with the leader of the jewish renewal movement, Zalman Schachter-Shlomi. In it he tells about how he instructs and encourages bar mitzvah boys to masturbate!

       He is definitely from the worst categories of Erev Rav, that sin and cause others to sin with them. This is one of the only places where a person is not given a chance to repent.


Q        Where are the Seven Laws of Noach brought down in the Torah?


A
      They are eluded to in the verses after Noach leaves the ark. The exact rules are brought down in the Jewish books of code. Take a look at the Rambam, he explains them in detail.

Q       I'm a Goy, but I have been attracted to the way of the G-D of Israel for many years what should I do?

A  
      The Kabbalah teaches about the righteous of the nations. A non jew who follows the Seven Laws of Noach and lives a moralistic life can also earn much merit.



Q       I only read English, but would like to start learning Kabbalah

A
        You should try to get hold of the books of Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan Z"L, these will give you a lot of information on Kabbalah.



Q        I am jewish but was never given a kabalistic or jewish name and I know you have too look up in a chart, which I do not posses and I was hoping you could maybe do this for me.


        There is no chart, a name change must be done through a religious ceremony.
This can be arranged by the Religious Rabbi of your community. If you were never given a name you may choose any you wish.

If you wish it to sound similar to you English name you can do so as well.
Here are some suggestions. (for Sophie)
Shiffra
Sarah
Shulomit

From a Kabbalistic view it is very important for you to go through the ritual and gain a Jewish name, it should be done with a religious rabbi.


Q      I read your Rabbi Chaim Vital on the study of Kabbalah, quotes from introduction to Shar Hakdomos. I like it, but often when I mention Nistar to people they're like you have to be very holy etc 40 etc married etc. What's your response to that?

A
     In todays age it is a state of Pikoach Nefesh and one is allowed to do anything which will bind him to holiness
.



Q     I believe that it wasn't the destruction of the two temples, which many believe, that was the sine qua non to the expulsion from the Land of Israel some two thousand years back, but the trial of Rabbi Eliezer ben Hycranus.


A
       The reason you have come to such a ridicules conclusion is due to the fact that you are steeped in the Klipah of the external wisdom's - Chochmot Chitzonim.


Q     Does Shivity Hashem mean that I should always try to visualize it in my minds eye?


A  
    That is the meaning of Shivity on a basic level. The Mishnah Brurah brings it down right in the beginning. It is best to do it with the nikudot of the word Yirah. It is better not to let your mind pronounce it. However if it does, ignore it for it is just an obstacle. Just make sure it never leaves your lips. Maybe try visualizing one letter at a time.


Q       I grew up as a Braslavor in Tzfat. My family moved to the states when I was still a kid. I am most ashamed by the distance that I have disintegrated to. When I read on your site about getting closer to Hashem through the physical and spiritual planes at the same time it gave me much strength. I am currently a student in a junior college and I need the fighting power of Hashem to be as He wants me. I am grateful for His kindness of bringing me closer to Him but I feel still so far away from Him and want to get as close as possible to Hashem.

    There are two way to fight the war. One is to do mighty battle against the Klipot, to fight them using every Tikun in the book. In order to do this one has to be a mighty worrier to constantly fall and get back up, until the day he destroys them for once and for all. A person like this can live in midst of the klipot and fight them.

However a person who is not so strong it is better that he moves to a place where there are less tests, a place where there is more Holiness to guard him. He must go to a place where he will not have to do much battle, a place where he might not have the victories but when all said and done he will have done much good and very little bad.

This is my suggestion to you, move back to Eretz Yisroel. This year if it is possible try to come to Umon on Rosh Hashana for it will remind you of the way things used to be.

If you can not move back, still do not give up for every person is judged according to his situation. A small move towards holiness that you might do in the US might be more precious in the eyes of Hashem then the huge Tikunim of someone in Meah Shiarim.

If you are stuck there now do the best you can for in the end you will be
redeemed and you will achieve victory.


Q         Why did you put up this web site?

         The web can be used both ways if it can be used for such impurity, it can be used for the opposite as well. We posted the site since this information should be available to any Jew who wishes to rectify his life. The site is far from complete and many parts are just to attract visitors.


Q         I read McGregor Mathers Kabbalah Unveiled when I was in my twenties. I believe that you have some insights into the meditative secrets that was known to me in a life in ancient Israel (close to the time the first of The Kings ). I would like to understand more in this area.

A  
       One Must Be Worthy Before He Delves Too Deeply Into The Mysteries.


Q        The Talmud says One who is blind in one eye is exempt from the pilgrimage. This law releases those who live from this vision ailment from the three yearly pilgrimages to Jerusalem. I have been blind in one of my eyes since birth. So what does this mean in metaphysical terms? What does this law above from the Talmud really say in spiritual terms?

A   
     Many people born with a handicap is because something that occurred in their previous reincarnation - Gilgul. Many people dealing with magic would handicap themselves on purpose to make themselves vessels for impure forces. Bilum was blind in an eye. The prophets of the Baal would stab themselves with their swards.

If a person has an injury it does not make him into an evil person, it simply means he is missing something in his Tikun. If there is something in the eyes it might mean that the person did not guard his eyes from looking at impure things in a past gilgul. He should therefore try his hardest to rectify it this time around.

A person who has his eyes repaired by laser surgery might be able to see well but he has only cured the outer manifestation. The part of his soul that was damaged is not cured. His sight is different then the sight he had when he was seven years old before he ever got his glasses. The vessels that grasp the sight have not been repaired and he can not take in the things he sees , even if his vision is now 20/20.

Regarding the going to the temple. The Mishnah in Chagigah learns it out from the verse "and you shall see" this means that part of the spiritual experience a person was commanded to try to achieve, was only possible through having sight as one of the factors. A person with damaged sight could also receive light but since he could not receive the full effects he was not commanded to go.


Q      Is Masturbation forbidden for women?

A  
     It is not any where as severe as it is for a man. However it is better not to do so for spiritual reasons. Also Physical and emotionally it ruins a person. In Yesod Yosef it is very clear that it is forbiden for women to do so and if they stumbled in such actions they should do Tikkunim to repair the damage.


Q       I read on your site about doing Tikunim through Midat Hadin, do you suggest that I use this path?

      Regarding Midas Hadin and Harsh Tikunim, although it would be good if you were already into it, it is not advisable to start with them.

Rather use the methods of Rebbe Nachman, they are very effective and you will see results from them very fast.

To access this information is very hard unless you can read Hebrew and have friends that are already involved in the matters.

There is a group called the Bresslov Research Institute that publishes a lot of the books in English. You may not find what you are looking for immediately but if you read a number of them you will begin to see things that can greatly improve your life.

A second thing you should do is try to find a person or group in your neighborhood that are already involved in the teachings of Rebbe Nachman.

Here are three thing that can get you started

Try to go to the Mikvah every day if possible or at least on Erev Shabbat .

Try to say Tikun Klali every day.

Try to do Hisbodedute every day.

Hisbodedute is a sort of meditation where you talk to G-D. Try to start with at least 15 min a day. As you read the books you will receive many tips of how to go about doing this.



Q      Can you explain the lineage from the Ari to Rabbi Vital to were Rabbi Nachman of Breslev you mentioned come about, Where is Baal Shem in the picture? Were is Chasidus in the scenario?

A       The Ari reveled many aspects of the Kabbalah that were never given over before his time. This he received through Roach Hakodesh and through the mouth of Eliyaho. These were all handed down through his main disciple the holy Rabbi Chaim Vittal.

The original chasidim are kind of far from the casidut of today, one of the things they handed over was a lighter form of Kabbalah for the masses. The original group was called the Nistorim, it began three generations before the Bal Shem. Rabbi Yisroel Bal Shem was the leader that brought the group to public recognition.

Rebbe Nachman of Bresslev was the great grandson of the Bal Shem, he started his own group. He gave over the path that is most effective until the coming of Mashiach. He saw the falling of the later generations and gave over techniques that even they can use effectively.



Q        I find your site interesting although a bit frightening sometimes, (lots of demons) it seems that the fear of Hashem surpasses your love for Hashem. I have to admit though, that you know your subject. Hashem´s Chesed is infinite as well as his Tifferes, He loves us and his 13 attributes of mercy are heard and HE sweetens his judgments. (Refering to TrueKabbalah.org not Bris Kodesh)

       There are many different paths, Chesed does exist and it works for many people. The site was created in the path of Midot Hadin, as some people are attracted to this direction. With Midat Hadin if you keep on trying and fighting eventually you emerge victorious.


Q       Haven't seen a whole lot of material on jewish exorcism. Your help with this subject would be appreciated.

A   
     We try not to post the teachings of Kabbalah Masit on the site. Not everyone is worthy of accessing this information.


Q        Where is the trinity in all of this. God the Father, The Son and the Holy Spirit? How does one ever come to salvation? What about the rapture when God takes the title deed to earth back away from Satan?

      There is no trinity, this is a lie invented by the early Christians. Yoshke (J) the founder of Christianity was a student of the biggest Kabbalest of his generation. When he was rejected he started his own following. Many of the Christian mystical teachings are based on Kabbalah but they are all corrupted.

The is no three there is only one. One G-D who controls everything with absolutely no intermediaries.

Every ones personal salvation comes when they do good deeds and purify themselves.

The salvation of the world as a whole will come with the arrival of the true Mashiach, which will happen when all the sparks have been raised through our actions.


Q       What about Rabbi Berg and the Kabbalah Center

A
      Regarding berg, the teachings of his center are very watered down and infused with their own confusion and teachings of other religions.

While the information they teach is almost worthless, he himself must know some Kabbalah and he will be severely punished for using it to gain money and power.

Here are two obvious signs that prove who they are.

For years the Kabbalah has been guarded in the highest secrecy. Only the most worthy were allowed in. Now he goes and throws it at any non Jew who is willing to give him money. It is written in many places in the books of Kabbalah about the severity of handing this information to people unworthy certainly to non jews. He openly defiles the Holy names of G-D by have people pronounce them. Look how far he goes, he has the divine names printed onto T shirts.

One of the main teachings of kabbalah is about purity. He takes the most impure immoral defiled people and surrounds himself with them.


Q     Most groups I've been in exploit their member from money or time, teaching a shallow cabala but basically MUSAR to backup the exploition.

A    We definitely do not exploit anyone, and have definitely never asked anyone for money. We just like doing Tikunim and the more people the better, but they have to have the vessels for it.


Q      This is not what Kabbalah is about... This is a twisted form of hate. the Berg's I'm sure are not happy.

A
       We were into Kabbalah long before berg even came around.


Q       Should I use the path of Kabbalah to get places?

A    
    There are three elements, the information which then leads to action and then to experience.

Reading Rabbi Aryeh Kaplans books they are probably some of the only authentic English books on Kabbalah. As you get more involved in Kabbalah you will want to start purifying yourself which will lead you to little by little start keeping all the laws of Halacha.

As far as getting places, it is very hard to get revelations unless you really work hard on purifying yourself. Any experiences you will receive in meditation will probably be rooted in the other side.

The path of Kabbalah is very intense. Everyone must know the foundations of Kabbalah since they are the essence of Judaism. However if you want to accomplish as much realistically possible, then I will suggest another path.

The path of Rabbi Nachman of Bresslev is very effective. Even an American Jew who does not have the vessels to study the holy writings of Kabbalah and to do the great Tikunim to erase all past actions, can get far using the methods of Rebbe Nachman.

There are many books published in English by the Bresslev research institute. Also try the web there are a number of sites.

His teachings are based on Kabbalah but they are focused for the later generations.

The more you learn the more you will be motivated to do. The more you do the higher you will become.


Q      I am trying my hardest to be Shomer Habris but I am still being attacked by Klipot.

A     In Tharat Hakodesh it says that, in this generation all those who try their hardest to be Shomer Habris are the ones who are doing the final Birurim - separations of the sparks that will bring the rise of Moshiach.

Fasting is not necessary if one can not handle it, since Hashem does not expect the impossible.

We recently put up the Five Tikunim from Rebbe Ahron Rateh that are relatively easy to do. Do those and say Tikun Klali everyday. Also if possible, try to go to Rebbe Nachman in Uman this Rosh Hashana.

If you do not have the power to combat the Klipot then the best idea is to ignore them totally. Even though you know that they exists and you feel them and you see many manifestations resulting from them, ignore them. Do not even mention their names, just when you must talk about them call them 'Negative Energy'. Instead focus on doing tikunim. Try to do as many Tikunim as possible. Torah is also a very powerful Tikun.

There are three groups of people where the Klipot leave them alone. Those that fully fight them with all the Tikunim until they kill them off. Those who learn Torah most of day but are still semi attached to the other side, their torah protects them but it is not enough to agitate the Klipot. The third group are the people who follow the path of Rebbe Nachman of Bresslev.


Q      After becoming a baalat teshuva for about 3 years, since arriving to Israel I have developed a dislike and distaste for everything Jewish. Now I want no part of anything - feeling nothing. What is this state?

A
      The kabbalah teaches that every time a person reaches a new level he first has to break through the Husks-Klipot surrounding that new level. To a person missing this piece of information it seems that he has fallen and Hashem has Heaven Forbid abandoned him.

When a person first starts doing Teshuvah he has a lot of energy. This is because when there is an awakening from bellow there is an awakening from above. When Hashem sees a person is trying, he helps them out even if they do not deserve it. However after a person is on his feet then he is tested to see how strong he is. He must then answer to all the sins he has committed in the past and start rectifying them.

Do not give up, this happens to everyone. It is only a passing state, if you are strong you will very soon once again see light.

Also if there is energy and you do not have the vessels to receive it they shatter and then everything seems dry and dead. If a person is Eretz Yisrael and he does not tap into the energy in the right way this can happen.

Now that we understand the case lets see how to get out of it.

Judaism itself can be very dry. One must keep the laws either way but he is allowed to try to make it exciting. If you want light, then Kabbalah is the place. Unless you can read Sefarim you are limited to the English text, try reading Rabbi Aryeh Kaplans books that will give you a boost. However if you are alone you wont last to long, try to hook up with some other women into Kabbalah.

Kabbalah is very advanced and one has to do many tikunim to reach high levels. You can get a lot of light from just studying it but you might get frustrated when you cant reach the levels you read about. If you want a path that can get you places, try Bresslev .There is also a lot of material published in English. Also there are many women that are into Bresslev.

Also if you are not married, do that it might help. We just put up a page on that
Segulot to get married



Q      You could change the current graphics - I find them to be hideous looking.
(on truekabbalh site)

      Our group is very into Din - Judgments if you want something softer go to our links page there are a bunch of nice kabbalah sites.


Q      Me and my students would like to join your group

     If you are interested in just studying Kabbalah use the writings from the site. We are constantly adding more writings. You do not have to join us for this for Torah was meant to be given for free.

If you and your students would like to join our secret society and accomplish mighty rectifications, then they must first prove that they are worthy. Each student must fast for 2 days 48 hours with no food and drink. After this they shall brake their fast sitting on the floor eating burnt bread.
The next thing they must do is roll seven times in either Snow or Burning desert sand. After this one has to lock himself up in a room for a period of one month. During this time he is not allowed to speak to another human but must spend all his time meditating and studying Torah.
If one has done all this he will be given the final test which can earn him entrance to the group.


Q       Shalom to you in the mighty name and may Hashem bless you.
We have read your mail with joy, we have been going on a longer fast than you prescribe and shall do your bidden and as soon as we want to commence we shall inform you in case you might want to visit us or contact us in the process of the fast and days of stay off.
Shalom yet we are hungry of the way.
Shalom.
Yours in the faith
King Michael Ukahson

A         While fasting you must do the following, immerse in a place of clean water. This must be done in a natural stream or river while fully undressed.
Then awaken at midnight. Take ashes and place it on your head and mourn the destruction of the temple. Begin Meditating on the names start combining the letters. Then if you are worthy you shall be shown a vision.

Write and e mail what you have witnessed in your vision. We will the know if you come from the side of holiness or from the 'Other Side' .


Q      I commit znus with non Jewish Women what tikun can I do?

       Regarding Tikunim..
The first thing is to completely stop sinning, otherwise it is like dipping in a Mikvah while holding a dead animal in your hand. Tikunim can help you stop but you can not start fixing until you reach that point. Look up the Halachos in Mishnah Berurah or Kitzur Shulchan Aruch. The are both available in English.

The rules might sound strict nerveless the are the only way to achieve purity. When one gives up something that was a part of him he has to replace it, replace your lust for Niuf with the light of Kabbalah.


Q      I have a non Jewish girl friend that is very spiritual, I want to convert her and get married.

A        The gates of repentant's are never closed, in addition one who wants to purify himself is helped out from above. However this takes hard work.

Living with a non jew as a severe sin. The kabbalah goes through the damage it creates as well as the punishments one receives for it.

Regarding the visions ...
Even a person who study Torah and keeps Halacha has to worry that part of his visions are from the other side. Someone who is impure certainly has his visions stemming from that source. The way it works is there is always a mixture of good and evil, a person has to be very honest with himself when separating the elements of his visions. As a rule anything that promotes a person to to good generally stems from the side of Kedusha. Know however that a Jew no mater what state he is in will always receive signals to return to his true place. Some of your visions could have been signs to return from your ways. This is especially true since you wrote that you were beginning to become observant and are studying Kabbalah, when a person starts he get many signs showing him the way.

Regarding being possesed....
A person who his Pogem Habris normally has numbers of demons around him, these are the ones he was responsible for creating. they always effect a person in many ways, sometimes they can almost take over. Then there are larger demons and evil spirits that rome the earth, they can posses a person especially at the time he commits a sin. There are many more details to this topic.

Regarding conversion..
It is prohibited to convert a person because they want to marry a Jew. It is possible that your friend would convert either way, however you can not be part of the process. If somehow she converts by herself then meets you at a later point, marriage might be permissible.

Regarding her spirituality..
Spirituality does not belong to the Jews, but know that there are two sides where it can come from. Also it is possible for a non Jew to have sparks of holiness and fear G-D.

Regarding studying Kabbalah...
Unfortunately there is no one who will help you out. You Must be strong and go by yourself. Read Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan's Books. Try to do as many Tikunim as you can, as you do the things start changing.


Q       Where can I find a rabbi that will teach me Kabbalah?

A      You will most probably not find a Rabbi who will teach you Kabbalah. Most lack the knowledge, others are from the other side, the ones that are truthful will not give it out.
With meditation it is even more complex for most people are unable to truly meditate and many teachers draw their energies from the side of impurity.

Unfortunately you are on your own.

If you have just begun, read through Rabbi Aryeh Kaplans books a number of times to receive some introductions. Then try to go through as many kabbalistic texts as possible. In the beginning you will not understand much but as you go through the mass information you will understand many parts to a degree, this in turn will lead to a better grasp of the kabbalah.

Likutay Maharan is very good. If you make the trip to Uman this Rosh Hashanah you will probably meet people who share your interests.

It goes like this, if your ambitions are small and you are just looking for a little light, you will probably get what you are looking for. If you have your mind set on reaching high levels it will be long hard and dangerous however you cant expect to get there with out working for it. No one will sit there helping you, however if you keep on trying and praying you will receive help from Heaven.


Q       Is mad---a a real kabbalist?

A       The main point of studying kabbalah is to lead to action. One of the main teachings of kabbalah is Shmirat Habris refraining from immodest actions. Someone who has helped defiled this generation and brought it to its current low level has nothing to do with kabbalah.

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